In The Eye of the Beholder Read online

  “Want…some…water…”

  I immediately poured some ice water into a Styrofoam cup and placed a straw against his parched lips, and he managed a few sips before he sighed and whispered, “Thank you…”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “Do…you…want to…stay…?”

  “I don’t know if they’ll let me.”

  He smiled slightly and replied, “I’m…a…doctor…they’ll…let you…if I…say so.”

  I leaned over and gently kissed him, then murmured, “Then I’ll stay.”

  My answer seemed to satisfy him, and moments later he drifted off to sleep. I sighed and sat down in the chair beside the bed, and I continued to hold his hand as I gazed around at all the equipment in the room, as well as all the monitors he was hooked up to. It suddenly occurred to me that he was an expert when it came to using all of the equipment I was looking at, and that thought gave me a new perspective and respect for him as I sat there holding his hand. A nurse came in every half hour to check on him, and I was surprised when no one told me I had to leave. After what seemed like an eternity I finally fell asleep, with my head resting on the side of the mattress, and when I woke the sun was coming up and my back was aching from sleeping in such an awkward position all night. I opened my eyes and frowned when I felt someone gently stroking my hair, and it suddenly occurred to me that the only person who would be doing that was Adam. I slowly sat up and smiled when I saw that he, too, was sitting up, and even though he couldn’t yet see me I smiled and said, “Good morning. How are you feeling?”

  “I want to go home.”

  I laughed at his statement, then teased, “I guess it’s true what they say--doctors really do make the worst patients.”

  He simply smiled and ruffled my hair, then rasped, “What time is it?”

  I glanced at my watch and replied, “Six a.m.”

  “You’ve been here all night?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why don’t you go home and get some rest? I can hear the exhaustion in your voice.”

  “I’m fine, Adam. How are you feeling?”

  “Frustrated.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “I want these bandages off my eyes.”

  “Patience is a virtue, Adam.”

  “So I’ve heard, but I’m not feeling very virtuous this morning.”

  The door quietly opened then, and I smiled at Alex as he walked into the room. He smiled back and glanced at Adam, then said, “Well, well, I see sleeping beauty is awake.”

  Adam laughed and said, “Good morning to you, too, Alex.”

  “How’re you feeling?”

  “I’m ready to go home.”

  “Now, Adam, don’t be a pest.”

  Adam simply smiled and shook his head, and as I slowly got to my feet I winced at the pain in my back and said, “I think I’m going to go downstairs and grab some coffee. I’ll be back later.”

  Adam caught my wrist and smiled up at me, then pulled me down for a kiss before he said, “Go home and get some rest, sweetheart. I mean that. Alright?”

  “Alright. I’ll see you later.”

  Adam nodded and turned his attention to his brother, and as I walked to the cafeteria I was suddenly terrified at the prospect of Adam actually seeing me for the first time. I was convinced that he would immediately regret getting involved with me, and I was near despair as I sat alone in the cafeteria, drinking coffee and trying not to cry. Despite his previous declarations and reassurances regarding how he felt about me, I still had my doubts as I watched the cafeteria become empty and then full again. I sighed and finished my lukewarm coffee, then slowly walked to my car and went home for some much needed rest.

  This is it, I thought to myself as I studied my reflection in the bedroom mirror later that afternoon. I’d slept for eight solid hours, but at least those dark bruises were gone from beneath my eyes, which were now clear instead of streaked with red. I’d showered and washed my hair, then dressed in a pair of black and silver pinstriped pants and a white silk shirt. I decided to keep my makeup to a minimum, and now, as I regarded my reflection with a critical eye, I decided that I looked as good as I possibly could. I applied my favorite perfume to my wrists and the base of my throat, then sighed as I grabbed my keys and purse and headed for my car. My stomach was knotted in a mixture of anticipation and anxiety as I wondered how Adam was going to react to seeing me, then decided that there wasn’t much I could do about it. Twenty minutes later I was standing outside the door to Adam’s room, and from my vantage point I could hear him talking and laughing with the nurses and Alex and Maggie. The fact that they were there as well only increased my anxiety, and I jumped slightly when a nurse approached me and inquired, “Is there a problem?”

  “No. I’m here to see Adam.”

  “The entire hospital has been by to see him. He’s quite a character.”

  I smiled despite my attack of nerves and replied, “Yes, I know.”

  “Is your name Sophie?”

  “Yes, it is.”

  “Then what are you waiting for, honey? The man’s been asking for you all afternoon.”

  “He has?”

  “Mm-hmm. You’re the envy of the female population of this hospital right about now. Everyone wants to know who Sophie is.”

  “Well, here I am.”

  The nurse smiled and replied, “Yes, you are. Go on in and make the man happy.”

  “Are his bandages off yet?”

  “Oh, yes. They came off at ten o’clock this morning. His doctor said he’s doing extremely well, and he might even let him go home Monday.”

  “That’s great.”

  The nurse sighed and replied, “Yeah, but we’ll miss him.”

  So will I, if he doesn’t like how I look, I forlornly thought as I watched the nurse watching me with an expectant look on her face. I gave her a half-hearted smile and slowly pushed the door open, then quietly stepped inside and simply stood against the wall, too terrified to move as I watched Adam talking animatedly with Alex and one of the young nurses who obviously had a crush on him. If she was my competition, then the battle had already been lost. Young, petite, and pretty, she was the epitome of youth and probably what every man wished for in a girlfriend. Her face was creamy and flawless, and she boasted curves in all the right places. Her hair was jet black and hung down to the middle of her back, and she fussed over Adam as if he were a newborn baby. As I watched the scene in front of me my heart sank even further, and I was almost tempted to quietly slip out of the room and simply go home when Adam suddenly inquired, “Sophie? Is that you?”

  I cleared my throat and nervously replied, “Yes.”

  Adam glanced at his visitors and said, “I’d like some time alone with Sophie, if you don’t mind.”

  Everyone nodded and shuffled out of the room as they cast inquiring glances in my direction, and when we were finally alone I nervously approached the bed and said, “Hi.”

  He blinked up at me and smiled, then said, “Hi yourself.”

  “How are you feeling?”

  He suddenly pulled me down onto the bed and murmured, “Like this,” just before he kissed me. All of my pent-up worry and uncertainty broke free then, and I couldn’t help the hot tears that spilled down my cheeks as I fervently kissed Adam back. He gently framed my face with his hands and brushed my tears away, then inquired, “What’s the matter, sweetheart?”

  “N-nothing.”

  “Then why are you crying?”

  “Guess I’m still a little tired.”

  Adam gently smiled at me and said, “Yeah, you look a little tired.”

  “You mean you can see me?”

  “Of course I can see you.”

  “But I thought--”

  He laughed then and replied, “Yeah, the doctor thought the same thing. But my vision is almost perfect now. Which means I can see you clearly.”

  I clamped a hand over my mouth as fresh tears spilled down my cheeks. I certainly hadn’t exp
ected such acceptance, especially not from a man of Adam’s caliber, simply because it was something I’d never experienced before. It was complete, total acceptance, despite my flaws and my unshakeable certainty that no one could or would ever love the real me, which included my physical appearance. Adam reached up and gently tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear before he gently touched my cheek and murmured, “Don’t cry, sweetheart. It tears me up to see you cry.”

  “Sorry,” I choked as I swiped at my eyes and tried to give him a smile. He frowned in concern at my obvious distress and inquired, “Is something wrong?”

  “N-no.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “I’m fine, Adam.”

  “No, you aren’t, or you wouldn’t be sitting here crying. Now tell me what’s wrong.”

  I shook my head and replied, “I’m just happy for you, that’s all.”

  He shot me a skeptical look then, but I wasn’t about to divulge my deepest fear to him. I’d already done that when I’d first discovered he was blind, and now my self-consciousness sounded lame even to my own ears. It also sounded self-centered and greedy, like I was the one who wanted all the attention when he so obviously deserved recognition for what he’d been through. I leaned over and carefully hugged him, which prompted him to laugh and embrace me in a bear hug. I shivered at the feel of his warm breath on my ear as he murmured, “I’m not made of glass, sweetheart. You don’t have to be so cautious around me.”

  I smiled down at him and straightened, then inquired, “Have you had dinner?”

  “No.”

  “What delightful treat do they have on the menu for you tonight?”

  He laughed at my choice of words and shrugged. “I don’t know yet. Probably some Jell-O or some other delicacy like that.”

  “Jell-O?”

  “Yeah.”

  “They won’t let you have anything else?”

  “Well,” he said as he grinned up at me, “they probably won’t, but rules are made to be broken.”

  I grinned back and inquired, “What would you like for dinner?”

  Adam sighed and replied, “A pizza would be great.”

  I laughed and said, “One with everything on it?”

  “Just extra pepperoni, cheese, and mushrooms will be fine. Don’t want to overdo it.”

  I nodded and picked up the phone, then called a popular pizza restaurant with Adam’s order. A few minutes later I hung up the phone with a triumphant smile and said, “Your pizza will be here in half an hour. I have to meet the delivery guy down in the lobby.”

  “How are you going to sneak it up here?”

  “I’ll think of something.”

  Adam simply laughed and shook his head as I kissed him before going downstairs to wait for the pizza.

  Adam was released on Monday, and as I drove him home he seemed content to stare out the window. He seemed to be taking everything in, and I couldn’t begin to imagine how he felt as he looked at things he hadn’t seen in five years. As I parked in his driveway, I cleared my throat and inquired, “What are you going to do with Mickey?”

  “I’m going to keep him. He’s a great dog and I can’t bear to part with him.”

  I nodded and got out, and I was secretly thrilled when Adam put his arm around my shoulders and led me to the front door. I still worried about his reaction to my appearance, and I was convinced that he was just waiting for the right time to tell me that he no longer wanted to see me. He seemed to sense the subtle change in me, and as we settled ourselves on the sofa in the living room he said, “OK, out with it. You just haven’t been acting like yourself ever since I had this surgery.”

  “I was worried about you.”

  “Well, I’m fine now, but I know it’s deeper than that. So spill it. I’m not going to stop bugging you until you tell me what’s wrong.”

  “Nothing is wrong.”

  He frowned and folded his arms across his chest as he pinned me with an intense stare, and I swallowed hard as I gazed into his brilliant blue eyes. Since he’d regained his sight I finally understood why the eyes were considered windows to the soul--I could see emotions in his eyes that I hadn’t seen in them before. He raised an eyebrow and said, “Well? I’m waiting.”

  I bit my lip and said, “I was afraid that you wouldn’t like what you saw.”

  His frown deepened as he said, “Didn’t I tell you that your looks didn’t matter to me? That it’s what’s on the inside that I consider important?”

  “Well, yes, but--”

  “But what? Who did such a number on you that you think you’re hideous?”

  I shrugged and turned away, unable to meet his probing blue gaze a moment longer. He gently grasped my chin and turned my head so that I was forced to look at him, and his voice was kind and gentle as he said, “Look at me, sweetheart. I want you to trust me enough to tell me anything. Remember?”

  I shrugged and kept my eyes downcast as I replied, “I was a thirty year-old virgin, Adam. Didn’t that tell you something?”

  He grinned and replied, “Yeah. It told me that you have very high standards.”

  “There’s a little more to it than that. There weren’t any takers.”

  He gasped and placed his hand over his chest in mock surprise as he replied, “Well, in that case, I’m definitely glad.”

  “I’m trying to be serious, here, Adam.”

  “You’re too serious, sweetheart. There was a taker--me--and I’m damn glad you waited. Aren’t you?”

  I nodded and replied, “Yes.”

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  “After a lifetime of being brushed off by countless jerks, it really did a number on my self-esteem.”

  “Their loss, sweetheart. Be glad you didn’t get too heavily involved with them. People like that are shallow, self-centered assholes who can’t see beyond your face or your clothing size.” He sighed and added, “And I’m afraid I used to be one of those jerks. I think losing my sight was meant to teach me a lesson. Now I appreciate the whole person regardless of appearance.” He gently framed my face with his hands and murmured, “And just in case you’re wondering, I happen to think you’re the prettiest girl in the world.”

  I simply smiled as he leaned in for a kiss, and moments later all my doubts flew out the window as he kissed me hungrily, tenderly. I remembered his doctor’s warning about not overdoing it or getting too excited, and as I reluctantly pulled away he frowned and inquired, “What’d you do that for?”

  “Your doctor said--”

  Adam waved my unfinished comment away and said, “My doctor says a lot of things. That doesn’t necessarily mean I’m going to take his advice.”

  “But he doesn’t want anything to happen to you, and neither do I.”

  “What exactly did he say?”

  “No strenuous activity and no physical or emotional upsets for a month. And that includes sex.”

  “I don’t intend to have sex with you, sweetheart.”

  My heart dropped into my stomach at his words, until he smiled and added, “But I do intend to make love to you.”

  “But Adam--you can’t--”

  His smile turned into a grin as he said, “Yeah, I know, but just think how incredible it’s going to be after abstaining for a month.”

  I laughed at him then, and moments later he kissed me before he got to his feet and said, “Come on, let’s go grab something to eat. I’m starving.”

  Chapter 8

  The next month passed quicker than I thought it would, and Adam finally received his doctor’s approval to return to a normal lifestyle. That meant going back to work, and I was thrilled for him when he told me the news. He seemed truly excited about actively practicing medicine again, and as we enjoyed a quiet dinner on the patio I inquired, “So were you a specialist before you lost your sight?”

  He laughed and replied, “If you can call an ER doctor a specialist. I did a little bit of everything, including some minor, routine surgeries.”


  “Such as?”

  “Appendectomies, that sort of thing.”

  I nodded and finished eating, not wanting to hear any gory details involving surgical procedures. Adam sensed my hesitation and teased, “A little weak-stomached, are we?”

  I simply smiled and nodded as I replied, “A little.”

  He simply laughed and shook his head as we finished dinner, and afterwards he settled back in his chair with a contented look on his face. Even though he had always been an amiable kind of guy, now he was an absolute joy to be around. He always managed to make me laugh, and he seemed to be thrilled with life in general. Being around him was always an energetic rush, sort of like a natural high, and I couldn’t help smiling when he suddenly inquired, “Would you like to go for a swim?”

  “Right now?”

  “Of course right now.”

  “But we just ate.”

  “We’ll stay in the shallow end.”

  “I didn’t bring my suit.”

  Adam’s smile widened to a grin as he replied, “So?”

  “You’re a dirty old man.”

  He laughed and replied, “I’m not old.”

  I laughed at his response and said, “Alright, alright. You’ve talked me into it.”

  Moments later we waded into the pool, and I sighed as the warm water caressed my body. I could feel the tensions of the past month melt away as I stretched out on my back and floated, and Adam laughed as he splashed me with water and suddenly dunked me. I came up coughing and gasping, which only made him laugh harder as he gently pushed the wet hair out of my eyes. I knew he would never hurt me, which was why my threat lacked any vehemence as I said, “I’ll get you for that.”

  “Ooh, I’m scared.”

  “You should be.”

  “Whatcha gonna do about it?”

  “This.” I reached under the water and gripped him firmly with my hand, and his eyes widened in a mixture of surprise and pleasure at my sudden boldness. He gave a soft laugh and pulled me close as he said, “Guess what, sweetheart--I’m still not scared.”

  “Damn.”

  He laughed again just before he kissed me, and I whimpered softly as instant desire sprung to life deep within my belly and settled between my legs as a sweet, insistent ache. We’d abstained for the past month, just as his doctor had instructed, but after receiving a clean bill of health earlier that day, I knew that Adam had more than swimming on his mind as his hands gently cupped my behind and pulled me even closer. I could feel the hard evidence of his desire pressing into my belly, and I whimpered again as his fingers found and stroked the most sensitive part of me. It was almost like the first time all over again as he gently slid a finger into me, and I linked my arms around his neck and threw my head back as he immediately stroked the spot which always left me writhing and moaning his name. Moments later he gently pulled me down onto him, and my eyes flew open in pleasure as he confirmed what a talented man he was, both in the bedroom and out. The warm water intensified our slow, easy lovemaking, but within a matter of moments, I was literally shaking as Adam began to move more urgently inside me. All of the desire we’d suppressed for the past month came rushing to the surface as he thrust deeply into me over and over again, and I was mindless with pleasure as he gave a final thrust that sent us both over the edge. I hoarsely whimpered his name as his body throbbed in unison with mine, and it was several moments before either one of us was able to breathe normally, much less speak coherently. He gently set me on my feet and pulled me close, then simply held me as I listened to the strong, rapid beat of his heart. When he finally raised his head he gently framed my face with his hands and dropped feather-light kisses all over my face, and his voice was soft as he murmured, “Do you have any idea how much I love you?”