In The Eye of the Beholder Read online

  “You aren’t worried?”

  “A little, but the thought of getting my sight back makes it worth it.”

  “Does Alex know?”

  “Yes, he knows, and he’s just as excited as I am. He’s taking me to the hospital in the morning.”

  “Do you mind if I come, too?”

  “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

  “I’m happy for you, Adam. I know how much you’ve wanted this. I just hope everything goes well.”

  “I’ll probably be in the hospital for about a week.”

  “Will your eyes be bandaged?”

  “Probably, at least for a day or two. Then, when they take the bandages off, I should be able to see. Things will be a little blurry at first, but my eyesight will gradually return to normal.”

  I didn’t want to be a spoilsport, but I couldn’t help myself as I softly inquired, “What if I’m not what you’ve imagined me to be?”

  “Sophie, sweetheart, didn’t I tell you that your looks don’t matter to me?”

  “Well, yes, but--”

  “It’s what’s in here that counts.” He gently tapped the center of my chest and added, “No matter what you look like on the outside, you’re beautiful on the inside.”

  His kind words were enough to make me cry, and as he gently brushed my tears away with his finger he said, “Why don’t you take the afternoon off so we can go celebrate?”

  I nodded and called my assistant, then told her I wasn’t feeling well and that I’d decided to go home for the afternoon. Adam was smiling by the time I clicked my cell phone off, and as we walked arm in arm to my car he inquired, “What would you like to do?”

  “Whatever you want.”

  “Hmm, I could think of a few things…” he murmured as he pulled me close and kissed me right there in the parking lot. I laughed and kissed him back, and as we got into my car I inquired, “Your house?”

  “Why don’t we go take a walk on the beach? Then we’ll go to my house.”

  I smiled and nodded as Sally’s engine roared to life, and Adam turned the radio up loud as I put the top down. He laughed as the wind blew through his hair, and as I glanced over at him I was extremely happy for him. I knew how much he wanted to regain his sight, and I had no right to whine and worry and burden him with my fears. He had enough to deal with as it was, and I decided to just enjoy my time with him and hope for the best regarding his surgery. Even though we’d declared our love for each other, neither of us felt possessive of the other, and as adults we each had our separate lives to live. All I could do was live for today, in the present moment, because really, that’s all any of us have.

  After a leisurely walk on the beach and a delicious early dinner on the pier, I headed for Adam’s house with a contented smile on my face. Once there he checked on Maggie and led me upstairs, and after shutting his bedroom door he walked over to me and began to gently undress me. His fingers were warm and gentle as he deftly unbuttoned my silk blouse, and his voice was soft as he murmured, “God, I can’t wait to finally see you. It’ll be so great to look into your eyes as we’re making love…” He leaned down and kissed me as he pushed my shirt off my shoulders, and after removing my bra he pushed me onto the bed and removed my pants before stretching out beside me. I laughed softly and murmured, “Hey, no fair. You still have your clothes on.”

  He laughed and replied, “I do, don’t I?”

  “Mm-hmm…” I reached over and unbuttoned his shirt, and he helpfully raised his arms over his head as I pulled his shirt off and dropped it onto the floor. He smiled when I tugged the zipper of his pants down, and then he gave a soft sigh as I gently reached down and stroked his warm, hard length. His sighs soon turned into soft groans of pleasure as continued to caress the most sensitive part of him, and as I tentatively kissed his sensitive flesh he sucked in his breath in a mixture of pleasure and surprise. He gently slid his hand through my hair as I took him into my mouth, and his restless movements and soft groans were oddly arousing as I continued to pleasure him. He suddenly tightened his grip on my hair and rasped, “Please, Sophie, stop…”

  I slowly shook my head and continued to pleasure him as he’d generously pleasured me, but moments later he forced my head up and pushed me onto my back right before he joined himself to me. Our lovemaking was hungry and urgent as he pushed himself deeper and deeper into me, and I cried out as he teased that excruciatingly sensitive spot deep within me. He threw his head back and closed his eyes as he slowed his pace, and after several moments of his slow, sweet torture I cried his name and clung to him as white-hot pleasure crashed through me. I was dimly aware of his low growl as he, too, became consumed with pleasure, and long moments later he collapsed beside me, completely spent and sated. Even though it was only four o’clock in the afternoon, we both drifted into a deep, contented sleep.

  I woke to the delicious feel of Adam’s body snuggled against mine, and I didn’t care what time it was as I snuggled even closer to him and gave a happy, contented sigh. Then I remembered what he had to endure the next morning, and worry settled in my belly like a cold, heavy rock. What if the surgery wasn’t successful? What if he didn’t wake up from the anesthetic? What if he didn’t like what he saw when he was finally able to truly look at me? I bit my lip as hot tears threatened to spill down my cheeks, and even though I tried to tell myself that I was being selfish and probably worrying for nothing, I just couldn’t seem to help the troubled thoughts that refused to leave me alone. Adam had grown extremely important to me in a short period of time, and I wondered if that had been a major mistake. Was it possible to really love someone after just a few weeks? The hot tears finally did fall, but I was determined to suffer in silence as Adam continued to sleep peacefully beside me. But crying always made my nose run and get all stuffy, and I was extremely careful as I got out of bed and quietly made my way to the bathroom. Once inside I locked the door and proceeded to wash my face and blow my nose, and as I walked back to bed I tried to tell myself that I was worrying for nothing, that in all likelihood Adam would be fine and my looks probably wouldn’t matter much to him. We’d shared so much already, and I considered him my best friend as well as my lover. My restless movements finally woke Adam, and his voice was soft and sleepy as he inquired, “Everything alright, sweetheart?”

  “Yeah.”

  He noticed the forlorn quality of my voice and added, “Are you sure?”

  “No.”

  “What’s the matter?”

  “I’m worried about you.”

  He laughed softly and said, “I’ll be fine, sweetheart. You’ll see.” He rolled me onto my back and kissed me, and when he raised his head he said, “I’m hungry. What time is it?”

  “Six-thirty.”

  “Good. That means I can still eat.”

  “No food after midnight, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What are you in the mood for tonight?”

  “Hmm…How about some steak and shrimp on the pier?”

  “Sounds great to me.”

  Adam and I returned from dinner at nine p.m., and I wondered if he wanted to make love again or just call it a night and get some sleep. I’d stopped at my apartment on the way back to his house for a change of clothes, because I had no intention of leaving his side until I was absolutely certain that he was going to be alright. Now, as he led me upstairs to his bedroom, I couldn’t help smiling as I correctly guessed what he wanted to do. We snuggled under the comforter and enjoyed the feel of the crisp sea breeze as it caressed our naked bodies, but Adam wanted to do more than snuggle. I sighed and smiled as he rolled me onto my back and kissed me deeply, and my desire was instant and intense when Adam gently slid his fingers into me. He went straight for my sweet spot, and as I arched helplessly against his hand he leaned down and murmured, “Do you trust me, sweetheart?”

  “Yes…” I breathed as he continued to torture me with the slow, gentle stroke of his fingers. He leaned even closer and added, “How muc
h?”

  “With my life…”

  “Enough to try something different?”

  “Oh, God, yes…” I moaned as he slowly removed his fingers from between my thighs and slid them into my mouth. I gasped softly at this new intimacy, and as I tentatively sucked on his fingers I could taste my own sweet essence. It was a heady blend of heat, desire, and pleasure, warm and sweet and sticky, like freshly spun cotton candy, and I couldn’t seem to get enough as I hungrily sucked on his fingers like an infant sucks on a bottle. He laughed softly at my eagerness, and I wondered if this was the something different he’d wanted to try. Little did I know at the time that this was just the beginning. He suddenly removed his fingers from my mouth and kissed me with a hungry urgency as he slid his fingers into me again, and moments later he was pushing his fingers back into my mouth, laughing softly at my greedy, frustrated sucking. The tension in my belly was becoming unbearable as he continued to tease me with his fingers, sliding them between my thighs and then sliding them into my mouth, and by the time he replaced his fingers with his mouth I was ready to explode in sheer frustration. I gripped two handfuls of his soft, silky hair as he slid his tongue between my thighs and tasted me for himself, and when he slid his fingers into me as well I gave a helpless whimper and arched wildly against him as the dam inside me threatened to break. I was so caught up in the moment that I didn’t protest when his fingers drifted to the dark, shadowed crease of my derriere, but I went still as he gently pushed the tip of his finger into my most private of places. I gasped softly at this new sensation, and Adam’s voice was gentle as he murmured, “Just relax, sweetheart. I’m not going to hurt you.”

  I gasped again as he slowly pushed his finger a little deeper, and moments later I moaned softly as he gently probed my most intimate depths. It was a feeling like no other, slightly painful, extremely erotic, intensely pleasurable, and a culmination of the ultimate trust I placed in him. I shuddered and moaned again as he made slow, circular strokes with his finger deep inside me, and my entire body shook with pleasure as the dam finally broke. By the time he kissed his way up to my lips I was nearly delirious in the aftermath of my climax, but his mysterious, satisfied smile told me that he had much more in store for me. I felt utterly spent and completely relaxed as he rolled me onto my side and snuggled against me, and moments later I sighed when I felt his warm, gentle fingers caress the soft, sensitive flesh of my derriere. He gently kissed the nape of my neck as he continued to caress me, and moments later I gasped softly in a mixture of pleasure and surprise when I felt the tip of his finger against my most private place again. I shivered slightly when Adam’s warm breath tickled my ear as he murmured, “Just relax, sweetheart. I want you to enjoy this.”

  I gave a slight nod and shivered again as Adam pushed his finger a little deeper, and within moments I was moaning softly and pressing myself against his hand as he pushed his finger even deeper into the most private part of my body. After a few moments of his exquisite torture I was writhing against him, and he laughed softly at my frustrated protests when he suddenly removed his finger and murmured, “Ready for more?”

  “Mm-hmm…Please, Adam…”

  “Please what, sweetheart?”

  “Please…don’t stop…”

  He laughed again and gathered me even closer against his body, but I went still when I felt the tip of him pressing against me. He sensed my hesitation and murmured, “Just relax, sweetheart. I’m not going to hurt you.”

  I nodded and closed my eyes as he slowly and gently pushed himself into me, and I gripped the edge of the mattress as I was consumed with an odd mixture of pleasure and pain at his forbidden invasion of my body. I shuddered when I realized that he was deep inside me, and the sensation was exquisite as he completely filled me up. I gasped softly when he began to move slowly within me, and there was nothing but all-consuming pleasure as he probed my most intimate depths with slow, gentle strokes. I couldn’t seem to stop moaning as we consummated the act of pure and total trust, and I gave a strangled cry as I climaxed so hard that I literally saw stars before I passed out. I came to a few moments later, and Adam’s voice was thick with concern as he frantically inquired, “Sophie, sweetheart, are you alright?”

  “Mm-hmm…”

  “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  “You didn’t hurt me. Quite the opposite. As a matter of fact, I enjoyed it a little too much.”

  “But you passed out!”

  “But I’m awake now, and I’m fine.”

  Adam didn‘t seem convinced as he curled his fingers around my wrist to check my pulse, and his concern was evident in his voice as he inquired, “Are you sure?”

  “I’m very sure, Adam. It’s just that--I’ve never experienced anything like that before.”

  He laughed softly as he nuzzled my neck, and his voice was gentle as he murmured, “I know. Remember?”

  I sighed and snuggled against him as an incredible lassitude settled over me, and my voice was soft and sleepy as I murmured, “I love you, Adam. Now get some sleep. You’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.”

  “I know. I can’t wait.”

  I simply nodded and drifted off into a deep, contented sleep.

  Chapter 7

  Five a.m. came all too soon, and as Adam and I showered and dressed neither one of us was in a talkative mood as we contemplated what Adam was about to endure. I was so worried for him that I felt physically ill, and I could only imagine how he felt as he towel-dried his hair and dressed in jeans and a clean white T-shirt. I’d heard the expression that doctors made the worst patients, but he seemed to be taking things in stride as he donned his shoes and combed his hair and brushed his teeth. He finally came to stand in front of me and pulled me into his arms, and I savored his fresh, clean scent and the warmth of his body as he gently said, “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I promise you that I’m going to be fine.”

  “I hope so,” was all I could manage without bursting into tears. He dropped a gentle kiss on my lips and said, “I know so. By this time tonight, I’ll be sleeping it off in my hospital room, and you’ll see that I was right.”

  “Aren’t you nervous or worried at all?”

  “A little, but I’m so excited about the prospect of getting my sight back that it seems foolish to be scared. I have two great doctors on my side, and I know practically everyone who’s going to be in that operating room this morning. So I’m confident that I’ll be in the best possible hands.”

  I glanced at the clock and felt my dread increase when I realized what time it was, and my voice was heavy as I said, “It’s almost six. What time to do you have to be there?”

  “Six-thirty.”

  “I guess we should get going.”

  “Cheer up, sweetheart. All of this will be over before you know it.”

  By the time they wheeled Adam into the hallway at six forty-five, he was happy and relaxed from the sedative they’d given him, and I had to force myself to be cheerful, even though I was a nervous wreck. I loved him so much that the thought of losing him terrified me beyond words, but somehow I managed to sound cheerful as I squeezed his hand and gave him a lingering, gentle kiss on the lips. He wrapped his arms around me and murmured, “I love you, Sophie. You’re the best thing that has happened to me in the past five years, and I’m not about to do anything to jeopardize that. And that includes dying. OK?”

  “I love you, too, Adam,” I replied just before he kissed me. It was a sweet, tender kiss, full of all the love he felt for me, and I hoped my kiss conveyed the same emotion as I smoothed his hair and gently touched his smooth, cool cheek. I reluctantly straightened and gave his hand a final squeeze, and as I watched the nurse wheel him into the operating room I couldn’t hold it back any longer. I slowly walked over to the window overlooking the parking lot and wept like a child. Maggie and Alex were too wrapped up in their own worry to offer me any comfort, and I knew that I had to get out of the sterile, worry-laden waiting room befo
re I literally lost my mind. There was only one place to go that would offer me any solace, and that was the fountain.

  The day dragged by, but finally, at four p.m., the surgery was over. Adam’s neurologist and ophthalmologist met Maggie, Alex, and me in the waiting room, and their smiles assured me that Adam was alive and doing extremely well. The surgery had been a success, and the doctors told us that we could expect Adam to be awake and talking soon. His sight would be restored by the next day, although it would be a little fuzzy for about a week, and then it would gradually improve until he had perfect 20/20 vision. However, he was to do nothing strenuous for the next month-- no heavy lifting, no emotional or physical upsets, and, unfortunately, no sex. They didn’t want anything to jeopardize the fragile state of his newly placed optic nerve, and they explained that the nerve had to have time to become integrated into his brain. The news was excellent, and relief flooded me as the impact of the doctors’ words finally sank into my tired, worried mind. Adam was fine, and he would be able to see again. The thought was now extremely exciting, and when the doctor granted us permission to visit him for a few minutes I wanted to be first in line. But I knew that Alex and Maggie wanted desperately to see him, so I conceded and allowed them to go into his room first. Maggie came out wiping her eyes, and Alex came out with a tired but relieved smile on his face. I quietly entered the dark, cool room and approached the bed, then clamped my hand over my mouth as I gazed down at Adam. His eyes were heavily bandaged and he was hooked up to an EKG, a blood pressure monitor, and two IV’s, and the sight of this strong, kind, happy man in such a helpless state nearly brought me to my knees. He suddenly reached out and caught my wrist, then linked his fingers with mine and rasped, “Sophie?”

  “Yes, Adam, I’m here.”

  “So…glad…love you…so…much…”

  “I know, sweetheart. I love you too. Don’t try to talk so much. Get some rest.”