In The Eye of the Beholder Page 14
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because I--”
“There’s nothing to be afraid of, sweetheart. I know an excellent neurologist on staff at the hospital. I’ll talk to him and see what he says about these dizzy spells.”
“I’m sure that won’t be necessary.”
“I’m the doctor, remember? Just leave the worrying to me.”
A week later the dizzy spells had grown worse, as had my bouts of nausea, and I instinctively knew that I didn’t need a neurologist to tell me what was wrong. My period was late, and I wasted no time in buying a home pregnancy test. I conducted the test while Adam was at work, and much to my dismay the little white stick lying on the bathroom counter confirmed that I was, indeed, pregnant-- with Adam’s child. I was sitting with my back against the cool tile of the bathroom wall when the phone rang. Instead of answering it I chose to ignore it, knowing it was Adam, and at the moment I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I was too consumed with worry and terror over my newfound knowledge that I was pregnant, but I also knew that if I continued to ignore Adam he would simply show up on my doorstep. That thought was even worse, since he’d never been inside my apartment. He teased me about it endlessly, but I remained adamant about refusing to allow him into my home. I was currently shopping for a new one with my inheritance, and I wanted to be able to surprise him and show off my new home at the same time. The phone rang again, and once again, I ignored it. A few moments later I heard Adam’s voice on my answering machine. “Sophie, if you’re home, pick up. I need to talk to you. Where have you been? I’m worried about you, sweetheart.”
I sighed and got to my feet, then gasped softly and gripped the edge of the counter as the room began to spin. The dizzy spells had gotten worse instead of better, and I wondered if that was a normal part of being pregnant. I figured I was only a month or so along, which explained the almost unbearable nausea and vomiting I was enduring on a daily basis, but I also knew that by the fourth month it should be gone. Only three more to go, I thought as I walked over to the phone and picked it up. All I got was a dial tone, but as soon as I replaced the receiver in the cradle it rang again. I sighed and picked it up, and Adam’s voice was full of concern as he said, “Sophie? Are you alright?”
Oh, yeah. Just peachy. Instead I replied, “I’m fine, Adam.”
“You sure don’t sound like it. Where have you been hiding for the past week?”
“Home. I had a lot of things to do.”
“Such as?”
“Packing.”
Adam gasped and inquired, “You’re moving?”
“Yes.”
“When?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“When did all this happen?”
“Nothing’s definite yet. I’m still looking. I just figured I’d go ahead and start packing now, because I’m definitely moving.”
“Are you sure you’re alright?”
“Of course. Why do you ask?”
“You just don’t sound like yourself.”
I sighed and sat down on the sofa. “I guess I just haven’t been myself lately, but yes, I’m fine, Adam.”
“Would you like some company?”
“Now?”
“Of course now.”
“My place or yours?”
“Neither.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Come over here and you’ll see.”
“Alright.” I hung up and quickly showered, then dressed in a pair of pink shorts and matching T-shirt that showed off my newly acquired tan. I’d also lost a few pounds thanks to all the swimming I’d done at Adam’s, as well as the other exercise I’d gotten in, but I shook my head and sighed as I gazed down at my belly. In a few months my belly would be poking out again, and I could only wonder what Adam was going to say when I broke the news of his impending fatherhood.
Much to my surprise, Adam had reserved a nice hotel room for us in Charleston, a mere hour away, but it seemed like a completely different world to me as he drove along the historic downtown district. I couldn’t seem to help myself as I gazed out at all the stately, old houses that lined the streets, and Adam laughed at my open-mouthed, wondering gaze as he pulled into the parking lot of an impressive high-rise hotel. We were on Market Street, the very heart and soul of Charleston, and once again my mouth dropped open when I spotted a horse-drawn carriage meandering along the cobblestone street. Adam came to stand beside me, and as he put his arm around my shoulders he murmured, “Would you like to try that?”
“Sure.” I shivered as he gently nuzzled my neck, but he simply laughed and led me inside. The lobby could only be described as elegant, with highly polished marble floors that reflected the light from the crystal chandelier hanging in the center of the ceiling. The desk was polished marble as well, and an impeccably dressed woman greeted us with a pleasant, professional smile. “Hello. May I help you?”
Adam nodded and gave the woman his name and reservation number, and I remained silent as he filled out the registration card and handed over his credit card. I suddenly felt guilty that he was spending an extravagant amount on this place for me, and I seriously considered telling him about my inheritance. But no. I would wait until after I’d informed him of my pregnancy to see how he was going to react. At the moment, even I didn’t know how to handle it, but I was certain that Adam had all the answers. I smiled when he put his arm around my shoulders and led me to the elevator, and once inside he pulled me close and kissed me so hungrily that my knees instantly went weak. He didn’t pull away until the elevator doors slid open, and he offered no apologies to the flustered couple waiting to board the elevator. Instead he simply smiled and led me down the hall to our room, which turned out to be a suite with an incredible view of the ocean. He walked over to the balcony doors and slid them open, then locked our room door and slowly walked over to me. I was standing at the foot of the bed marveling at the spacious, tastefully decorated room when Adam gently pushed me down onto the mattress, and I laughed softly when he flopped down beside me on the bed and murmured, “Enjoying yourself?”
“Immensely.”
“Good.” He leaned over and kissed me, and his mere kisses alone were enough to ignite my desire. All of my worries dissipated as he slowly undressed me, and as I lay there naked before him he simply smiled a purely masculine smile of satisfaction as a bright, hungry fire burned in his blue eyes. They were eyes that knew me well, eyes that could see through to my very soul, eyes that had locked with mine as he’d pushed me well past ecstasy, and I swallowed hard as he continued to stare at me with that mysterious smile. I was suddenly consumed with an unusual apprehension, a sense of vulnerability as I lay naked, exposed, and at his mercy, and I wondered if he’d be able to tell the difference in my body during our lovemaking. He was a doctor, after all, which meant that he was a master of anatomy, and that thought alone was enough to make me shiver in a mixture of anticipation and anxiety as I waited to see what he was going to do. He leaned down and kissed me as he slowly slid his fingers between my thighs, and within moments I was gasping and moaning and arching helplessly against his hand as he gently stroked me into a frenzy. For some reason my body seemed to be extra sensitive to his caresses, and I briefly wondered if it had anything to do with my delicate condition. But even that thought didn’t last as he continued to caress me with agonizingly slow strokes, and when I felt him gently slide his finger into my most private of places, it only increased my sensitivity and pleasure. I gave a strangled moan at his dual assault and arched violently off the bed, and his mouth never left mine as he pushed his fingers even deeper into me and held them against that exquisitely sensitive spot deep inside my body, the spot that only he knew about, the one that only he had access to. My entire body began to shake as I locked my free arm around his neck, and moments later I tore my mouth from his as a scream of pure pleasure erupted from somewhere deep within me. Torrents of pleasure cascaded through me as my scream dwind
led to a soft whimper, and I wasn’t surprised when I realized that my cheeks were wet with tears. All of this pleasure, all of this emotion, and we hadn’t even made love yet. The man was beyond incredible, I thought as I lay there with my eyes closed, my heart thundering in my chest, my cheeks wet with tears, my body slick with sweat, my breathing still ragged as my body recovered from his loving, masterful assault. I finally opened my eyes to find him staring down at me, and as he gently stroked my cheek he murmured, “Are you alright, sweetheart?”
“Why do you always ask me that?”
“Because I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Oh, Adam,” I cried as I threw my arms around his neck and buried my face in the warm, damp hollow of his throat. He gently stroked my hair and kissed my forehead before he eased away from me and said, “Sophie, sweetheart, is something wrong?”
“No.”
“Are you sure?”
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. The man knew TOO much about me, had gotten too deep into my psyche to be fooled by my bland reply. He gently brushed my tears away and added, “I think I know you well enough to know that you aren’t telling me the truth.”
I said nothing as he settled beside me on the bed, and as he gently rested his hand on my belly I was surprised by the sudden, uncomfortable tenderness I felt where his hand rested. He frowned at my slight wince and restless shifting beneath his gentle touch, and his voice was full of concern as he once again inquired, “Are you alright, sweetheart?”
“I--I guess so.”
“Then what is it?”
I shrugged, deciding that maybe a flippant reply would be easier than a serious one. “I don’t know yet. It might be a boy or a girl. The odds are fifty-fifty, you know.”
His frown deepened until the impact of my words finally sank in, and then he broke into the biggest, brightest grin I’d ever seen on a human being. “Sophie, sweetheart, are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
“And what do you think I’m saying?”
“That you’re pregnant.”
I bit my lip and nodded. “Mm-hmm. That’s what I’m saying.”
“How long have you known?”
“Just since today. Right before you called.”
“And how do you feel about it?”
Unexpected tears sprang to my eyes at his gentle question, and my voice was less than steady as I replied, “Unsure. Terrified.”
“Why, sweetheart?”
“Because I--I didn’t know how you would react. And I don’t want you to feel pressured into doing anything you don’t want to do, if you get my drift.”
“Oh, I get it, sweetheart. But what makes you think I wasn’t already planning to ask you to marry me?”
“You were?”
“Why do you think I brought us here?”
“Oh, Adam.”
This time he simply laughed and held me as I buried my face against his chest, and long moments later I drifted off to sleep, happy, content, and finally at peace.
Epilogue
Something pulled me from my restless sleep, and I lay there for several long moments in the dark, listening to Adam’s deep, even breathing as I tried to figure out why I was awake at this ungodly hour of the morning. The past eight months had been the absolute greatest of my life, and I could only hope that my good fortune would continue to increase. Adam and I had gotten married a month after our trip to Charleston, and if I hadn’t already been pregnant by then, I certainly would have been after that memorable trip. Adam had shown me things and made me feel pleasure beyond my wildest dreams, and we had also spent our time there really getting to know each other on a deep level, the kind of friendship that is reserved for soul mates. And he was definitely my soul mate. I sighed and gently rubbed my swollen belly, then gasped softly when I felt a distinct, slightly uncomfortable tightening beneath my fingers. I slowly exhaled and blinked up at the ceiling as I wondered if this was the beginning of labor, and that thought alone was enough to send slivers of fear slicing through me. Despite Adam’s reassurances that both I and the baby were healthy, and despite the fact that my husband was the most trusted, respected doctor/surgeon in the entire town, I was still terrified of what I faced during this period called “labor.” Oh, I knew all the basic facts of how babies were born. The only problem was, it had never happened to me before, and I was finding out that the greatest terror does indeed lie in facing the unknown. I suddenly, desperately wanted my mother at my side, and I was even more surprised at the hot, instant tears that sprang to my eyes and clogged my throat. I had eventually coped with losing my parents, and although I was still a long way away from being able to think or talk about them without crying, I was getting there. However, right now, at this moment, as I lay in the dark next to my wonderful husband wondering if I was going into labor, the thing I wanted most was my mother’s cool hand linked with mine while her other hand gently stroked my forehead, her voice gentle and reassuring as I struggled to bring a child into the world. I bit my lip so hard that I tasted blood as I closed my eyes and pictured her standing next to me, and I must have made some kind of noise because Adam’s voice suddenly broke the quiet stillness of our bedroom. “Sophie? Are you alright, sweetheart?”
“I--I don’t know.”
“What do you mean, you don’t know?” He sat up and switched on the lamp, then turned to look at me in a mixture of concern and gentle, tender love. “Are you in any pain?”
“Well--I wouldn’t exactly call it pain. Not yet, anyway.”
“How do you feel?”
“Scared.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” He pulled me close against his warm body and gently stroked my hair as he murmured, “Now what did I tell you?”
“That I had nothing to worry about since you were personally delivering our baby.”
“Mm-hmm. So why are you lying here terrified and crying?”
I shrugged because I didn’t know what to say, but that soon changed as a mild cramp rolled through my belly and brought me up short. This was different from the unusual tightening I’d experienced just a few minutes earlier, and I couldn’t stop the surprised gasp and then the soft moan that escaped my lips as the pain reached a quick peak and then began to subside. My only comfort was in knowing that I didn’t have to get up, get dressed, and endure checking into the hospital, because Adam was delivering our baby at home. We’d been through the Lamaze classes, even though Adam had delivered enough babies to know how to coach me through this, and he’d assured me that just because we’d attended the classes didn’t mean that he wanted me to suffer needlessly. Knowing that he was there, that he was in charge of the situation, eased my fears tremendously, despite any pain I had to endure. I finally pulled away from him and sat up, then glanced at him and inquired, “Now what?”
He laughed softly and said, “We wait.”
“That’s it?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“Alright. You’re the doctor, after all.”
He simply laughed again and pulled me close, and moments later another cramp rolled through my belly, this one a little worse than the last one. Adam felt me stiffen and eased away from me, then inquired, “Another one?”
“Yes.”
“Let me know when you have the next one, alright?”
“I will.”
“How bad are they?”
“Well, they aren’t really bad yet. Just uncomfortable.”
He nodded and pulled me close, then spent the next five minutes stroking my hair and talking softly to me about our trip to Charleston and the honeymoon cruise we’d taken. I barely noticed the next contraction, thanks to his clever distraction technique, but even I was smart enough to know that mere talking wasn’t going to get me through several hours of labor. But as I mentioned before, I trusted him, and I knew that he was going to do everything in his power to minimize my pain, as well as my fear. Despite his reassurances I was still scared to death, and I figured that was normal. Giving birth was a major event in a wom
an’s life, one that required several hours of pain and hard work to accomplish, but the end result was definitely worth it. I could hardly wait to see what kind of father Adam was going to be, even though I already instinctively knew that he was going to be a great one. He was still talking quietly when I felt the beginnings of another contraction, and I had to admit that this one was the worst so far. I gasped and dug my fingers into his bare shoulder as my belly tightened painfully, and cramp was too mild a word to describe the pain I felt. It was ten times worse than any cramp I’d ever felt, and I bit my lip as Adam gently placed his hand on my belly and simply waited. His voice was gentle and reassuring as he murmured, “Just relax, sweetheart, and remember your breathing. Everything’s going to be fine.”
I welcomed his soothing words, although I dreaded the next wave of pain that would arrive in about five minutes. I wondered how I was going to get through this, knowing that I would be in pain every five minutes for God only knew how long, but I knew that it was too soon to ask for anything for pain. Adam had told me to not be shy about asking him for pain relief, but fifteen minutes into it was definitely too soon. I sighed and relaxed when the pain finally eased, but my relief didn’t last for long as I watched Adam get up and begin to get dressed. “What are you doing?”
“I’m not going to deliver this baby in my underwear, Sophie.”
I laughed at his comment and arranged my pillows against the headboard of our king-sized bed, then pushed myself up even more and said, “Seriously, Adam, what are you doing? You know this baby won’t be here for a while yet.”
“I’d just feel better about examining you with my clothes on.”
I laughed again and watched as he pulled his jeans and a T-shirt on, and I sighed and gave him a mysterious smile as I reminded myself just how lucky I was. Adam was an incredibly handsome man, a compassionate, intelligent man, a gifted doctor and a wonderful husband, but my pleasant thoughts were interrupted by another contraction. I moaned softly and sank low into the mattress as the pain began to build, and I was grateful for Adam’s presence and his gentle, soothing voice as he reminded me how to breathe through it. Tears slid down my cheeks as the pain finally reached its peak, and moments later I went limp with relief when the pain began to ease. I was more terrified than ever as I wondered how I was going to endure this kind of pain for the duration of my labor, but Adam quelled my fears once and for all when he quietly said, “I know how to administer an epidural if you want one, sweetheart.”