In The Eye of the Beholder Page 13

  “Tonight?”

  “Yes, if you want.”

  “What will you have to do?”

  “Sedate her and put it back in place.”

  “Then what?”

  “She won’t be able to eat anything solid for a few days, but I noticed she hasn’t been eating much anyway.”

  Adam nodded and glanced at me, but I was so wrapped up in my own personal cocoon of misery that I didn’t really care what Alex had to do to me. Adam helped me to my feet and helped me get dressed, and a few minutes later he put me in his car and drove to Alex’s office. I had spent the fifteen minute trip staring out the window, not really seeing anything except my dead parents and Danielle’s hateful expression as she’d drawn back to hit me. Adam switched the engine off and turned to me, then gently inquired, “Are you OK, sweetheart?”

  I gave a forlorn nod but said nothing as he gently stroked my cheek, and moments later he helped me out of the car and led me into Alex’s office. I sat down in the chair, struck by the irony of how comfortable the chair was. The chair was comfortable, but the person sitting in it was bound to experience pain. I clasped my hands together in my lap and sat staring at the floor while Alex washed his hands and donned a pair of gloves, then glanced up in surprise when the chair began to tilt backwards. I gripped the arms of the chair and blinked up at Alex in sudden anxiety, but my jaw had gotten too stiff and sore for me to talk very well. I finally managed to inquire, “What are you doing?”

  Adam sat down beside me and gently laced his fingers through mine as he said, “Just take it easy, sweetheart. He’s going to X-ray your jaw and then go from there.”

  I nodded but kept an eagle eye on Alex’s every move as he positioned an X-ray machine against my injured jaw, and five minutes later he hung the film up on the viewer and said, “Just as I suspected--it’s dislocated. Adam, why don’t you start her on some nitrous and hook her up to the BP monitor and oximeter.”

  I watched as Adam stood and wrapped a blood pressure cuff around my arm, and after clipping an oximeter onto the end of my index finger he leaned over me and secured a funny-looking mask over my nose and mouth. He noticed my look of anxiety and confusion, then said, “It’s just for the nitrous, sweetheart. Just close your eyes and breathe normally.”

  I did as he instructed, and a few minutes later I had the pleasant sensation of floating even though I knew I wasn’t. I sleepily blinked up at Alex as he leaned over me, and his voice was gentle and soothing as he said, “I’m not going to hurt you, Sophie. OK?”

  I nodded and closed my eyes, and much to my surprise I drifted off to sleep.

  Chapter 10

  A week later I met with my family attorney, who informed me that I would soon become a financially secure young woman. My parents had left me a generous inheritance of half a million dollars, and since I was an only child and they owed no debts, the attorney said he saw no reason to keep things tied up in court for the next eight months and promptly issued me a check. The inheritance was definitely bittersweet; I had mixed feelings about accepting the money, even though such an amount would mean financial freedom the likes of which I’d never before experienced. However, I would have gladly given up every penny in order to have my parents back, but I knew that such a scenario was impossible and decided to take what my parents had so generously provided for me. I hadn’t told Adam about my windfall, though, since I’d been brought up to keep one’s financial matters private. My father had told me long ago that money did strange things to people, and although I knew that Adam loved me, I still felt reluctant to divulge information regarding my inheritance. He was kind enough to remain silent on the subject of my parents unless I brought it up, but after the funeral I was just too drained and numb to talk about it. My silence seemed to bother him, though, and the following weekend as we sat by the pool he cleared his throat and gently inquired, “Sophie, sweetheart, are you feeling alright?”

  I turned to look at him and bit my lip as I wondered just where the conversation was heading before I replied, “How do you mean?”

  Adam shrugged and leaned forward with his hands clasped loosely between his knees as he replied, “Just what I said. How are you feeling, sweetheart?”

  “How do you think I’m feeling?”

  “The same as I did when I lost my parents.”

  “Not exactly. You were only eleven, and I’m sure that you felt as if your entire world had shattered. I--” I stopped as I realized that that was how I felt, like my entire world had shattered at my feet, and I’d been helpless to stop it or even know what was coming. I suddenly felt extremely vulnerable and at the mercy of some higher power that seemed to be playing us humans like marionettes, and I didn’t know whether to feel angry or terrified as I stared out across the calm blue water of Adam’s pool. I knew he was still gazing at me expectantly with those kind blue eyes that could see to the very root of my soul, and I suddenly shivered when I realized that he, too, could be taken from me without a moment’s notice or hesitation. The thought was enough to bring fresh tears to my eyes, but I remained silent as I slowly turned my head and met his patient gaze. Adam frowned as he gently brushed my tears away with his finger, and his voice was soft and gentle as he murmured, “I understand what you’re going through, Sophie. I don’t want you to feel all alone in this. OK?”

  “But I am.”

  “No, you aren’t. I’m here, and if you need to talk, I’m more than willing to listen.”

  I simply nodded and returned my gaze to the pool, and I didn’t protest when Adam slowly pulled me to my feet and gathered me close against his body. I suddenly clung to him as if I were drowning, and in a sense I was--I was drowning in the dark, bottomless depths of my grief, and Adam seemed to understand this as I clung to him and sobbed brokenly for all that I’d lost. He made no attempt to silence me or rush me inside so he could sedate me and send me into the quiet oblivion of sleep, and as my sobs dwindled to soft whimpering he gently tipped my head back and murmured, “I love you, sweetheart,” just before he kissed me. There were no demands in his gentle kiss, just total acceptance and complete empathy, and I relaxed against him as I realized that he truly loved me. That knowledge was empowering as I hungrily kissed him back, and he didn’t seem to mind the fevered urgency with which I devoured his soft, sweet lips and warm, velvety mouth. Instead he gathered me even closer and kissed me back in the same fashion, and I didn’t try to stop him when he effortlessly lifted me in his arms and carried me inside and upstairs to his bedroom. He gently deposited me on his bed and carefully undressed me, all the while kissing me with a hungry urgency that I’d almost forgotten, and after removing his jeans and shirt he stretched out beside me and continued to kiss me as he gently rested his hand on my belly. He made no move to do more than kiss me as we lay naked in the glow of the late afternoon sun, and I suddenly realized that he was waiting for me to decide whether I wanted to do more than what we were doing at the moment. I suddenly answered his unspoken question by sliding my hand down to his thigh, but he remained still as my fingers gently stroked him. I suddenly realized that he didn’t want me to feel rushed or pressured, and for that I was grateful as I gently increased the pace and pressure of my gentle hold on his manhood. He finally groaned softly and reached down to grasp my wrist, effectively stilling my gentle strokes, and without a word he leaned over and kissed me deeply. I gave a soft murmur of surprise and pleasure when I felt his fingers slide between my thighs, and he seemed to be extra slow and gentle this particular evening as he caressed my most sensitive flesh with long, deep strokes. The only thing that mattered to me at this particular point in time was the exquisite sensations he was producing deep within me, and all thoughts of my parents were forgotten as Adam rose above me and gently joined our bodies. With every one of his deep, gentle thrusts I dug my fingers into his shoulders and moved with him, and before long I cried out and held him close as pleasure consumed me in a white-hot rush. I was still breathing heavily and slick with sweat as Adam kissed
me gently, and moments later he settled beside me and murmured, “I love you, sweetheart. I hope you know that.”

  His tender words brought tears to my eyes, and my voice was thick as I replied, “I love you, too, Adam. Please don’t ever leave me.”

  He propped himself on his elbow and gently brushed the hair off my forehead before he replied, “I have no intention of doing that, sweetheart. Not if I can help it.”

  “I just don’t think I could bear to lose you, too, Adam.” The mere thought was enough to make the tears finally spill down my cheeks, and his blue eyes were full of concern and sympathy as he gently brushed my tears away and said, “I’m not planning on going anywhere for a long, long time.”

  “But what if--”

  “Shh.” He gently placed his finger against my lips and drew me close, then murmured reassurances to me as my eyes grew heavy. Soon his gentle, soothing voice lulled me to sleep, but it was far from being a restful one.

  The insistent ringing of the phone woke me long after it had grown dark, and as Adam sat up to answer it I kept my eyes closed and pretended to still be asleep. I heard him say “Hello,” and then he sighed and quietly inquired, “What do you want, Danielle?”

  I stiffened and opened one eye, not quite sure if I should be angry or afraid because Adam’s ex-wife was calling him at God only knew what hour. I suddenly heard him sigh and say, “Danielle, I’m not the surgeon on call tonight.”

  More silence, and then Adam sighed again and said, “Alright, Danielle, just calm down. I’ll be there within an hour.” He hung up the phone and switched on the lamp, and I blinked at the sudden brightness that assaulted my eyes. At my questioning look Adam said, “That was Danielle.”

  “I gathered that much.”

  He sighed and raked his fingers through his hair, then said, “She’s at the ER with appendicitis, and she wants me to be her surgeon.”

  “And?”

  “I told her I’d be there within an hour.”

  “I see.” I sat up and added, “And the next time she needs or wants something? Are you going to go running to her?”

  “Sophie, sweetheart, this is different--”

  “How is it different, Adam? You aren’t the only surgeon on staff.”

  “I know, but--”

  “But what? She’s using you, Adam. She wants you to feel sorry for her and help her out and hopefully, in the process, fall in love with her again.”

  “I really don’t think--”

  “I don’t see how you could even consider doing this for her when there are other surgeons who are just as qualified as you are to do this, not to mention what happened here a few weeks ago.”

  “Because she’s refusing to have the surgery unless I do it. And if she refuses to have the surgery, she could very well die. I can’t have that on my conscience, Sophie, no matter what my personal feelings are. As a doctor I have to be able to separate my emotions and do what needs to be done. I can’t just sit here and let her refuse to have surgery, knowing that my inaction could cause her death.”

  “But it wouldn’t be your fault, Adam. She’s just doing this out of spite. She knows there are other surgeons who could do this. She wants you to come running to prove a point.”

  “And what point would that be?”

  “That you’re still at her beck and call, and that maybe you still have feelings for her.”

  “Maybe part of that is true, Sophie, but I have no romantic feelings left for her at all. Right now she’s a patient and I’m a surgeon. That’s the only relationship I have with her at the moment.”

  I sighed in a mixture of frustration and anger as I sat there staring at him. He already had his mind made up, and nothing I said or did would change that. I watched as he stood and began pulling on his clothes, and as he sat back down to put his shoes on he inquired, “Would you like to come along?”

  “No, Adam, that’s quite alright. I’ll get dressed and go home and sleep in my own bed, but no, I don’t want to go to the hospital with you at this time of night.”

  “It’s only nine o’clock, sweetheart.”

  I simply shrugged and began getting dressed, acutely aware of Adam’s steady gaze upon me as I slipped my shoes on and finger combed my hair. He gently put his hands on my shoulders and murmured, “Sophie, sweetheart, you don’t have to leave. I’ll be back here by midnight.”

  I shook my head and swallowed hard as I gazed up into his handsome face. He sensed I was losing my resolve, and he gave me a mysterious smile as he said, “Come on, sweetheart. I’ll even let you watch.”

  I shuddered and replied, “No, thanks. I have no desire to see you or anyone else cut someone’s belly open.” I was suddenly assaulted by a gruesome image of someone doing just that to my parents after their untimely demise, and Adam’s face darkened with concern when he saw how pale I had become. “Sophie? What’s the matter?”

  “N-nothing,” I stammered as I sat heavily on the edge of the bed and dug my fingers into the cool white sheet. I shook my head in a desperate attempt to clear it of such thoughts, and I was aware of Adam’s concerned gaze as he crouched in front of me and said, “Sophie?”

  “What?”

  “What’s wrong, sweetheart? You’re as white as that sheet.”

  I shook my head again and said, “I’m fine, Adam. Go do what you have to do.”

  “Will you be here when I get back?”

  “I don’t know.”

  He sighed and straightened, and moments later he was gone, leaving me with my lonely, troubled thoughts.

  I decided to stay at Adam’s, mainly because I saw no reason in being petty and difficult to get along with, although his actions had hurt me deeply. I didn’t care what Danielle did or didn’t do, as long as she left Adam out of it, but I could see that that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. Why had she popped back into his life five years after breaking his heart? Had he not learned his lesson? Or had things even happened the way he had told me? Maybe he’d been the one who had left, and now he was feeling guilty over it because Danielle was back in his life. Even though he claimed to love me, I still had painful doubts when I compared myself to his ex-wife. Granted, I was in no hurry to make her my best friend, or even a friend at all. I just wanted her out of the picture so I could keep Adam for myself. However, I soon realized that someone else could come along, and despite all of Adam’s declarations of love for me, if he was taken with this new person, he could easily fall out of love with me and become enamored with someone else. It was a free country and I had no holds on him. Even if we were married, he’d still be free to have affairs, if that’s what he wanted, but I sensed that he wasn’t that type of man. I could only hope I was right as I sat in Adam’s quiet, dark living room and waited for him to return.

  I must’ve fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew, Adam was gently shaking my shoulder and calling my name. “Sophie? Come on, sweetheart, let’s get you upstairs and into bed.”

  I slowly sat up and sleepily rubbed my eyes, then blinked up at him and inquired, “What time is it?”

  “Eleven-thirty.”

  I nodded and allowed him to pull me to my feet, and when he did I stumbled against him and instinctively gripped his arm as the room seemed to tilt crazily beneath my feet. His concern was instant and deep as he inquired, “Sophie? Are you alright, sweetheart?”

  “Just a little dizzy, that’s all.”

  “Why are you dizzy?”

  “I don’t know, Adam. You’re the doctor, not me.”

  “Hmm. I am, aren’t I?”

  “I should hope so, after you just finished cutting someone’s belly open.”

  “You’ll be happy to know I left as soon as the anesthesiologist knocked her out. I showed up just to make her think I was the one who would be doing the surgery. But as soon as she was out, I handed the case over to the surgeon on call. He appreciated it and I was relieved.”

  “That was pretty clever thinking.”

  “I’m just a clever k
ind of guy.”

  “Mmm.”

  “Still dizzy?”

  “No, I’m alright now. Must’ve gotten up too fast or something like that.”

  “Yeah, hopefully.” He guided me upstairs to his room and tucked me back into bed, then quickly undressed and snuggled next to me as sleep threatened to overtake me again. Within moments I drifted off, happy and content to have Adam next to me.

  I woke at dawn, and for several moments I simply lay there, savoring the feel of Adam’s warm body snuggled against mine. But the call of nature had wakened me, and as I carefully got out of bed I was dismayed to find I was dizzy again. I sank back down onto the bed and simply sat there staring at the floor as I tried to figure out what was wrong with me. I chalked it up to the stress of losing my parents, then sighed and carefully got to my feet again and stumbled to the bathroom. The dizziness dissipated halfway to the bathroom, but once there I was both surprised and frightened when I became violently ill. I desperately hoped Adam was still asleep, but no such luck. I was sitting with my back against the wall when he entered the bathroom and inquired, “Sophie? What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe it was something I ate.”

  “Any more dizziness?”

  “A little. When I first got out of bed.”

  “I see.” He crouched in front of me and checked my pulse, then helped me to my feet and led me over to the sink so I could rinse my mouth and wipe my face. Afterwards he led me back to bed and proceeded to examine me, and a few minutes later he said, “Everything seems to be fine. It’s probably stress from all you’ve been through in the past week, but if it continues, I want you to see a neurologist.”

  I stared at him in disbelief as I repeated, “A neurologist?”